Is anyone going to read this?

I haven't posted to this blog in forever. I'm thinking of posting some new pictures and maybe some recipes.

The great outdoors

I started to contribute as a blogger to the Utah Trikes blog. I'm doing a 30 day triing challenge which means that for 30 days straight I will ride my trike for a little or a lot. I've done it for 4 days and it's going great so far. It was chilly this morning, but it was wonderful. I don't really feeel comfortable writing anything with any religious connotations because I'm not sure who is reading my submissions. It is just so beautiful out there right now. The weather has cooled down enough for it not to be dreadful even in the afternoon. I think about how riding makes me feel. Exercising inside just can't compare with being outside and enjoying nature's beauty. The Lord has given us such a beautiful world. It's a shame when we have to spend so much time indoors. Especially those of us who live in Utah know that the winters are so harsh here. I'm going to make an effort to spend more time outside while I still can. I'm not a fan of the hot Summer sun , so this weather is perfect. It usually doesn't snow a lot until the last week of November or the first week in December. I'm going to try to get the kids out as m uch as possible as well until then. Benjamin is beautiful right now with the corn fields and full trees.

swimming

I'm so glad to be back on this. I could not sign in because whenever I tried it did a weird loop thing. I found out how to fix it, but I couldn't do it. I'm not very computer savvy. I'm using a different browser now. I like to do this because hardly no one reads this and it's way better than facebook. So, we are done with swim lessons. The kids did a great job. They will probably all go back next year to improve their strokes. Haley will need further lessons she was just too goofy when she did her lessons. I'm so glad it's done last week was so hard because we had to be there at 7 and the kids and I are not morning people. I have taken 2 swim lessons and I still can't let go of the kickboard. I just don't know how to do it. I never learned to swim as a child and the paralizing fear and overthinking it just gets me. They said the class was for beginners or for people wanting to improve their stroke. I am the only one in the class that did not know how to swim. I look stupid and I'm helpless and I hate that feeling. I didn't go last Thursday because I used the weather as an excuse. It's funny how we can come up with excuses so readily. I don't know if I'll ever let go of the kickboard. I tried it yesterday and it just feels like I'm going to drown. I don't know how to float on my own and you'd think it would be easy with all the extra weight. It all comes down to fear. My instructor is a certified lifeguard she says that there is no way I will drown because she wouldn't let it happen. I understand the logic, but fear still takes over. This is a metaphor for life and the lifeguard represents our savior. She holds on to the kickboard and pulls me while I kick and hold the other end. She doesn't let go unless I want her to. I don't want her to. I don't know if I will ever want her to. It's comforting to know that our savior is there for us to hang on to for dear life when times are tough. We don't ever have to loosen the grip if we don't want to. We can though. We can use the principles and teachings that he has given us and spread our wings. It's comforting to know that like a lifeguard he will always be within reach to rescue us from the abyss. I feel like writing more but the kids are needing my attention.

Some pictures

Here are a few pics of my flowers before they were done for the season! The others are of the kids in Sacramento near the State Capitol, Fisherman's Wharf, and in the basement of our new shop! That apple tree now has a bunch of leaves and apple blossoms!

Crazy woman

A couple days a month I am a crazy woman. I struggle with myself not to say all the mean and hurtful things that cross my mind. I think that's what it means to put aside the natural man . It is so hard when at the time it would feel so good to lash out. My children have no idea how I'm feeling most of the time, but sometimes the natural woman comes out. Usually I'm a calm, patient, charitable peacemaker, but one or two days out of the month I think that everyone hates me and is out to get me and it's quite horrible. I know when it's happening, so I talk myself out of being mean, most of the time.
I'm glad that this time it was mostly over before Mother's Day. My kids are beautiful, wonderful children. They amaze me all the time. They are not perfect because no one is, but they are perfect for me. My husband works too much, but if he didn't we wouldn't have a home, food or books to read and learn from. Life is so weird! I guess if I was always calm and peaceful I wouldn't be able to work on those very important attributes. I know that that mean person is not my true self. Having those feelings helps me work on those other good attributes of patience and charity when it's so hard to. Last night Harold said he was so sad that Mother's day was almost over. He said it was such a good day. We had great food made by the men and lots of fun hanging out at the new shop helping daddy by putting things away and playing in the basement. That's who I am and that's who my children are. That other crazy woman is just a reminder of who not to become.

I want to be like Abish

I never finished writing about my experience at the meeting I went to last week. Sister Beck's main points that she made were that just like the Lamanite Mothers of the strippling warriors, we are also mothers who know. The Latina woman may be humble but by small and humble means are great things brought to pass. She spoke about Abish - the Lamanite Queen's servant who went and gathered the town's people together in preparation for them to hear the gospel. She was a mere servant but because of her actions the people in that land were able to hear the miraculous things that had transpired in King Lamoni's court by the king himself and as many as were there and heard his words were converted to the gospel. I'll bet that she never thought that she could ever have such an impact on so many people. I want to live my life in such a way that when the opportunity presents itself I can also be the humble servant who brings many to the Lord. I think I'm already doing it by preparing my children to serve faithful missions when they are older. They are so special and I know because of their gentle nature and humility they will be able to preach the gospel with power and authority. This was her point. We as mothers can do so much to not only prepare missionaries but also to live our lives as examples of the true believers. she said that we should not be afraid to open our mouth to friends and neighbors. If we store the gospel in our hearts we will be ready to proclaim it when the opportunity arises. Boy, I miss being a full time missionary. It was so hard because of insomnia and the heat and humidity, but it was so worth it. Well, this is enough for now.

Sister Beck

I just had a wonderful spirirtual experience. On Sunday Night I went with a couple of my friends to a special meeting held for all the Spanish speaking sisters in our area. Sister Allred the first counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency and Sister Beck the President of the relief Society General Presidency spoke to us. Sister Allred's talk was good and very well prepared, but when Sister Beck stood up to speak I felt an instant connection with her. I didn't know that her Father was a mission president in Sao Paolo Brazil while she was a young girl. She spoke Spanish with a Brazilian accent and for some words she used the Portuguese word. I took notes on both their talks. You really can't put it into words the spirit that was there.

The meeting was at the UVU institute building and the counted 1450 women present. we were near the back and it was really neat to look over the audience and see a sea of dark hair and hear the buzz of excitement in spanish.